This article will shed some light on the symptoms and psychology behind shyness and offer some suggestions for breaking free of its chains that hold you back from experiencing a satisfying social and dating life. Shyness ranges on a continuum from situational to dispositional.
1. Read His Signals
Some people tend to be socially inhibited in just certain types of settings or circumstances, whereas for other people this anxiety tends to be more of a personality trait that is a predominant way of life, manifesting itself in many different types of scenarios across the board. Shy guys tend to be more introverted, preferring more solitary activities to their extroverted counterparts, who tend to like to recharge their batteries through social contact.
Neither is better or worse than the other, though society does tend to favor the more outgoing personality-type and stigmatizes the more quiet, internal individuals. Although there are exceptions, generally speaking many shy guys tend to feel uncomfortable in social situations and dislike having attention called to themselves. They tend to feel judged by others and are highly sensitive to the opinions of others, wanting to avoid any type of criticism or rejection.
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They can feel inhibited, self-conscious, have a difficult time relaxing, and are very internal and self-focused in the sense that they are very preoccupied with their own thoughts, feelings, and physical reactions. They have a difficult time meeting people, struggle with initiating and maintaining conversations, dread group interactions, and can have a hard time standing up for themselves and voicing their opinions and needs.
Shy guys often times shine when they are in settings where they feel safe or are around people they know well. Positively speaking, shy individuals tend to be very creative and have great imaginations that can lend themselves remarkably well to relationships and situations of leadership and change.
Top 6 Dating tips for Shy Gay Guys
Their biggest culprit is the negative self-talk in their heads that minimize their competence and value; if this obstacle could be removed, their quality of life would boost to a much higher level. Most psychological experts believe that shyness is a learned behavior or a reaction to a negative event that inhibits the person. If you lived with others who were shy or emotionally identified with an attachment figure who was shy, you may have observed and modeled that behavior yourself and it became a part of you.
Negative experiences or being the victim of a trauma could also contribute to the development of shyness. Where does your shyness stem from?
The Shy Guy's Guide to Gay Dating: 7 Secrets to Turn You Into a Dating Badass
Try to understand the origins of your shyness by examining your attitudes and past experiences more closely. Realize, shy guys, that the more you run from and avoid your anxiety-provoking situations, the more strengthened and reinforced your shyness gets. The key is to stop giving away your personal power to others in what you perceive of them thinking of you and learn to become more assertive. Get out there and make your dreams come true! In fact, almost everyone suffers a little anxiety when dating, which can even be part of the thrill.
Anyway, read on before we spill all the best bits in the intro.
Shy Guys have more sex.
Online Dating Tips. Being modest means you are more likely to listen to your date, and could actually become aware of their feelings faster than louder personality types. Shy guys get their energy from within, which is a charming quality. Ask your buddies how they would describe you. Reflect on what they say, and decide for yourself if you agree.
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When you settle on a few more traits that represent you, be sure to mention them along with being shy. You could be a shy guy, but also be a very open-minded and conscientious person.
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Preparing yourself will boost your self-confidence. Ask open-ended questions on topics that interest you. Maybe you recently did something cool, like you went to a new city, or you discovered a really fantastic band. Mention these things. Going in with a plan will help you feel more relaxed, and that will help you to be more you.
To help you out, here are a few first date tips shy gay men can use to build confidence when and where it counts. Sure, there are personal exercises and self-development journeys you can take to eventually build up your confident, outgoing nature, but none of those options are going to produce dramatic changes in time for your upcoming date.
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Even short-term solutions, such as telling yourself affirmations or spending the day in a yoga class, will only produce a temporary boost in confidence that will likely fall apart the second you lock eyes with your man. For this first date, your current shy nature is all but inevitable, so instead of trying to hide it or banish it, highlight it. Never forget that there are multiple ways to express your shyness.
If you act shy in an unconscious manner, you will likely come across as awkward, but if you express your shyness consciously, if you downright play with your shyness, then you can turn it into an attractive personality trait that pulls your man into your orbit. Played properly , being shy can be the trump card that gets you the guy.